'Call Me by Your Name': The Problem with the Age-Gap

‘Call Me by Your Name’ is one of the most famous lgbtqia+ movies. It is a movie starring Timothee Chalamet and Armie Hammer, having an apparent ‘summer fling’ in Italy. But, many don't see the underlying problem in ‘Call Me by Your Name’, the age gap.

In the movie, Elio (Timothee) is a 17-year-old teenager and Oliver (Armie) is a 24-year-old man. Most view Elio and Oliver’s relationship as a summer fling, but we see it greatly affecting Elio a decade later, he seems to have never gotten over Oliver (this seems to be the case in relationships with age gaps).

Many people do not see the problem with the age gap because it’s legal. In Italy, the age of consent is 14. Elio was 17 when Oliver and Elio had sex, making the entire relationship legal. It is essential to know that the law isn’t the ‘end-all-be-all of morality’. Something being legal or illegal doesn't magically make it right or wrong (like being queer, sex work, or abortion).

Another argument defending the movie is that many other movies also show an age gap like Twilight, clueless and other heterosexual rom-coms’. Just because other movies portray the same issue and normalise it, doesn't mean it's all right.

‘Call Me by Your Name’ plays into the stereotype that older gay men are predatorial and abuse younger, closeted gay men, which portrays the lgbtqia+ community through the shadows of stereotypes. I am not saying that there are no predators or paedophiles in the lgbtqia+ community. I am just saying that there aren't many queer movies, and sadly one of the most famous ones normalises a predatorial age gap.

A study by Macapagal and colleagues suggests that one in four gay and bisexual boys between the ages of 14 and 17 are on these “hookup” apps. A total of 69% have had sex with someone from the apps and only 25% use condoms consistently. These young boys are exploring their sexuality secretly, making them more vulnerable to exploitation and abuse. The movie should have shown Elio confiding in his parents instead of Oliver.

Many critics have called the film pedophilic. In my opinion, the movie is more sexually predatorial than pedophilic. We can see Oliver controls the relationship and in some ways grooms Elio. There is also a scene where the viewers are made to believe that Oliver had sex with 17-year-old, drunk Elio (during their trip to Bergamo). I call this ‘sexual’ predation as right after the trip Oliver seems to have moved on to another relationship while Elio (like most young kids who have been exploited) is still greatly affected by the relationship.

Putting this into perspective:

I’ve never been the biggest fan of the story of ‘Call Me by Your Name’. After revisiting the movie and seeing the issue of the age gap, I will never be a fan. Everything isn't good or bad, as with ‘Call Me by Your Name’, there is good and there is bad. The movie does encourage and empowers young people to question their sexuality and embrace their sexuality. At the same time, it portrays a huge stereotype about the queer community and encourages predatorial behaviour.

Kudos to ‘Call Me by Your Name’ for being a mainstream movie which is about a homosexual relationship, stepping away from the male gaze.